The Most Random System

Chapter 984 - 452: When a Purple Mood Appears in Fairy Tales, It’s a Complete Turnoff (Part 3)

"The Prince tried to chase, but Gray Product Girl was in such a hurry. Amid the chaos, her emotional plug-in fell off.""The Prince picked up this steel plug and found it unusually delicate and particularly slippery. A normal person would have it fall out if they tried to use it, so he announced to the nation that whoever could wear it would be his future wife."

"The games with the stepdaughter need no mention. In short, when he arrived at Gray Product Girl’s home and found she could easily wear it, the Prince immediately recognized her, and they lived happily ever after."

Bai Bufan: "(゜▽゜)?"

Lin Li, you’re becoming less like a human, do you know that?

No wonder your voice got so low.

But before roasting this story itself, Bai Bufan wanted to question something else: "So what the hell does this have to do with the Little Match Girl?"

"You’ll know soon," Lin Li signaled Bai Bufan to stay calm, smiled, and continued:

"On the Christmas when Gray Product Girl and the Prince got married, a Little Match Girl was roaming the streets, selling her matches."

"However, everyone in the town now used nuclear warmth, so no one used outdated matches anymore."

"After failing to sell for a long time, it was already evening, and the girl’s hands and feet were ice-cold, shivering from the cold."

"To warm up a bit, the girl decided to light a match, and in the warm glow, she saw a large stove."

"But it was just an illusion. When the match went out, the stove disappeared completely."

"The girl continued lighting matches, and in the flames, she saw roasted goose, a Christmas tree, her grandma, and all sorts of wonderful things."

"But everything was fake."

"Unknowingly, the girl was left with only one match."

"She lit it, but by then, her hands were shaking so badly from the cold that she couldn’t hold on to it, and it fell into the snow, melting some of it."

"The girl saw a cylindrical object and curiously pulled it out."

Lin Li’s voice suddenly became a bit excited:

"It was what Gray Product Girl had used, that purple mood!"

"The girl, without a second thought, instinctively used it!"

"Oh, wow! Her tattered clothes instantly transformed into lingerie!"

"She grew up instantly and even transformed into a hot commodity!"

"Inflamed to the core!"

"And at that moment, the passing townsfolk got a glimpse of her grandma."

"They realized you can’t judge a book by its cover! They underestimated her!"

"They absolutely couldn’t let someone like that wander the streets, so the Little Match Girl and the townsfolk lived a happily ever after, ending!"

Bai Bufan: "(;☉_☉)?"

Bai Bufan needed a question that conveyed more emotion than "not human."

"This still managed to interlink, what the hell!!"

"Why the hell did Gray Product Girl casually abandon such a magical, wonderful tool on the street!!"

Lin Li asked in confusion: "She’s already with the Prince, what would she be doing with the purple mood? Just tossed it away, I guess."

Bai Bufan: "..."

Bai Bufan was silent for a long time, then gave a thumbs up: "Lin Li, damn, you’re truly the fairy-tale king. I suggest everyone grow up with your fairy tales, surely they’ll make our next generation grow up more robust."

He looked down at the note in his drawer wishing himself happiness every day, and couldn’t help but pray for this kid.

—May you never meet Lin Li.

And also never meet me, because frankly, it doesn’t make a difference, not much difference at all.

After angrily despising Lin Li, Bai Bufan couldn’t help but reveal his nature: "Bro, got any more?"

"Got more, brother, got more."

"Spill it."

"Long, long ago, there was a queen who had a magic mirror that knew everything. One day, he asked the mirror, ’Mirror, mirror, who is the cutest little boy maiden in the world?’"

"The mirror answered Snow White."

"The queen couldn’t accept it, so he sent out a huntsman to kill Snow White."

"But the huntsman later got exhausted, Snow White not only escaped but met a gang of dwarves, thus continuing to live a 1V7 ’Tom Blows the Horn’ life."

"When the queen again asked the mirror the question and found Snow White wasn’t dead."

"He hatched a plan, disguised himself as a vendor selling purple mood, and found Snow White."

"It happened that the dwarfs were out, and the unsatisfied Snow White, upon seeing what the queen was selling, immediately got tempted and bought an enlarged and thickened 40 cm version of the purple mood."

"But when she used it, Snow White realized she fell into a trap."

"It was an electric shock baton."

"Hahahahahahaha—" Bai Bufan couldn’t hold it anymore, collapsed on the table, and when Lin Li glanced over, he suppressed his laughter and waved: "This is too friggin’ insane—"

Luckily he wasn’t eating anything.

Interrupted, Lin Li shrugged helplessly, continuing in a low voice: "In short, Snow White got electro-shocked, and when the dwarves got back, they were very sad, thinking she was dead, hastily prepared a coffin."

Bai Bufan: "What do you mean by hastily prepared a coffin, what exactly are you rushing?"

"Don’t interrupt, in any case, at that moment, a Prince on a white horse passed by, and after seeing Snow White’s face, he was smitten."

"With a kiss full of love, Snow White miraculously woke up! But when the Prince discovered Snow White wasn’t a corpse, he immediately ran off in disappointment."

"But luckily, while the Prince left, the white horse stayed behind."

"And so, Snow White and the white horse lived a happy and blissful life."

Bai Bufan: "..."

"You just forcefully end on a happy and blissful note, don’t you! Why does the horse get a role!!"

"There were hints earlier," Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan with some disdain: "First, even seven dwarves couldn’t satisfy her, and then the purple mood she bought was a full 40 cm, and a horse’s thing is long..."

"You call that foreshadowing!!! Don’t defame the word foreshadowing!!"

"Stop barking, are you listening or not?"

"Listening."

"This time, it’s the tale of three little she-pigs..."

...

When Lin Bai, muttering from behind, occasionally let out a silver laughter.

The ones upfront, Huang Yi and Zhou Jiana, were anxious.

Because no matter how they strained their ears, how carefully they listened, they could only hear bits and pieces, totally in the dark about what exactly Lin Bai and the other person were talking about.

What in the world could be more torturous than this?