Pretty idiots are born to be played with and ruined by their husbands.

Chapter 16 Our Bodies

Wangshan.

"Master Yang, is there nothing wrong with us coming here at night? Isn't opening coffins and relocating graves usually done during the day...?"

Uncle Wu followed behind the master, looking at the eerie winds blowing around the mountains and the strange forests teeming with ghostly figures. He felt uneasy. He had asked someone to find a yin-yang master for him, and he had heard that the place that had handled his funeral had not been open for several days.

He went to other houses to ask, and when they heard that his fingernails were black, they said it was because the burial place was wrong.

So they invited Master Yang, but Master Yang was only about twenty-three or twenty-four years old.

"It won't get any whiter. If you wait any longer, your mom will go out to visit neighbors and find people to play mahjong with." Yang Siyan joked, but his expressionless face showed no sign of joking; he was completely serious.

This makes people feel that he always speaks in a sarcastic or ambiguous way, or with some other hidden meaning.

"The place you buried here is the belly of a dead cow." He pushed up his glasses and patiently explained, "When you came here, didn't Wangshan look like a dead cow lying on the ground? And look at the mountains on both sides of us, don't they look like cow ribs? Your mother, and where we are, don't we look like we're in a cow's belly?"

No sooner had the words left his mouth than a faint, indistinct mooing or low bleating of a cow came from some unknown direction.

Uncle Wu was silent for a moment. Why did he always feel that when the master said "your mother" it sounded like he was cursing someone?

Yang Siyan squatted down, grabbed a handful of black soil from the ground. The soil felt cold and sticky, and it hardly crumbled after being kneaded. "Take another look at this soil. Its waterproofing effect is better than the materials used on construction sites."

"The soil used for burying corpses cannot absorb water. When it rains, the area around the coffin will be covered with water. Moisture and cold air will accumulate and stagnate, trapping the corpse's energy in the burial chamber."

Yang Siyan clapped his hands, looked at Uncle Wu, and made a prediction: "If a body is buried in a place like this, it will undergo a strange transformation. The flesh will not decay or decompose, but the hair and nails will grow wildly. It will become a demon in seven days and a white zombie in three months."

"White zombies?" Uncle Wu frowned, shook his head which was throbbing with ringing, and squeezed his blurry eyes. "But when I was buried here, the people who handled the funeral said this was a feng shui treasure land..."

He said there were no snakes, insects, rats, or ants in the soil, because his mother was most afraid of those things.

So he dug it up and saw that there were indeed no insects underneath.

Moreover, it's secluded, and there won't be any wild dogs or livestock roaming the mountains to disturb it, dig up graves or corpses...

How can these people even swindle money from the dead?

"Yes." Yang Siyan nodded in agreement without any change in expression. "In just a couple of days, your mother will be able to come back and have dinner with you all, continuing to enjoy family life. However, while you will be eating cooked rice and vegetables, your mother will be consuming your yang energy."

Uncle Wu: "..." Master... he really is cursing, isn't he? Oh well, let him curse if he wants.

"Be careful when you leave, don't touch the plants around you, most of them are poisonous." Yang Siyan glanced at the three movers Uncle Wu had hired behind him, then looked down and compared them with the number of figures on the ground, six in total.

There were only five of them, one more than that.

Ruan Zhijuan, who was sleeping soundly in bed, suddenly found herself in the mountains, and a black fingernail had grown on her finger. "..." Was she dreaming again?

Ahead were some people he didn't recognize; to be precise, he couldn't even see their faces clearly. They were all tall and strong, carrying shovels, and dressed in dark clothes.

He was taking big strides, and he could hardly keep up. His legs were getting weak from walking.

But he couldn't control his body and legs, and could only keep walking forward.

Yang Siyan looked at the extra sixth shadow and reminded, "When we go down after we've finished dealing with this, don't be alarmed if you see an extra shadow on the ground. Don't shout. It's the old lady who came down with us."

As he spoke, he quickened his pace and called back, "Hurry up, don't be late."

Then, the sixth figure behind her moved her legs even faster. Surprisingly, this old lady was quite energetic.

Ruan Zhijuan: Slow...slow down...(ꐦÒ‸Ó) Don't go...don't go...

Yang Siyan looked away and asked, "Who reminded you to come to the cemetery? Why didn't you just call him over?"

Uncle Wu, who had just been thinking about the cemetery, paused for a moment and said, "It was a pretty little kid who came to the shop to buy peaches. He said my mom was too hot and told me to make sure she wore less clothing..."

Ah, Uncle Wu felt he understood something. So that pretty kid was also a master. Today, when he bought peaches, he noticed something was going on at the family graves and gave the kid a few pointers.

"Beautiful?" Upon hearing this word, Yang Siyan's expression changed noticeably for the first time. "How beautiful?"

Uncle Wu looked at Master Yang, who seemed to be displaying her beauty like a peacock, with a wary expression, and reminded her, "She has a husband, and their relationship is great." She bought three or four pounds of peaches at twelve yuan each.

Yang Siyan: "..." Does his face say he wants to be a mistress?

He unpacked the ginger candy he had bought in advance to replace the ginger slices and handed it to each of them, saying, "Each of you should have a slice and keep it in your mouth to prevent the corpse's stench from invading your lungs."

Ruan Zhijuan finally stopped and stared at the thing she didn't know what it was, blinking her eyes. Each person had a piece, so she had one too.

He pretended not to care, looked around a few times, and then rubbed his newly grown long black fingernails, waiting for someone to give him some.

After everyone had finally taken their things, it was his turn. Just as Ruan Zhijuan was about to reach out to take it, he saw the man stuff the things back into his pocket, leaving his self-indulgent arm standing alone in the cold wind.

Ruan Zhijuan: "..." (눈‸눈)?

Yang Siyan felt a cool breeze around him. His eyes flickered as he stared at the sixth "person" on the ground, whose hand was almost reaching his face. He asked Uncle Wu, "So your mother likes to eat ginger?"

"It's ginger." Ruan Zhijuan pouted and withdrew her hand. She hated eating ginger the most.

Uncle Wu frowned as he listened. Why was he suddenly concerned about his mother? "My mother is sixty-seven years old this year, and my father is still taking care of her down there."

Yang Siyan: "..." Huh?

"Cough cough..." Yang Siyan blinked in surprise, cleared his throat without changing his expression, touched the sides of his glasses with his fingers, and pushed the glasses back to the end of his nose. "Dig the soil, open the coffin."

That's the advantage of having facial paralysis; it's not noticeable when you're embarrassed.

A dozen minutes later, Wu's mother's coffin was revealed, and the coffin was covered in water vapor.

Yang Siyan opened the coffin and saw that the old woman's fingernails were long and black. "See that? Those fingernails have grown to 5 millimeters now. They're bluish-gray with a blackish tinge. If it had been a few days later, your old woman's body would have turned into a zombie."

Before the body was buried and placed in the coffin, Uncle Wu trimmed his mother's nails. However, now, his mother's fingers have grown forward by about the size of a fingernail, and the color is not quite right.

Yang Siyan sprinkled glutinous rice into the coffin. "Keep digging."

Less than three meters from the coffin, Ruan Zhijuan stood with a stiff smile and a deathly expression next to the old woman dressed in a purplish-red burial shroud. She was wearing a pink embroidered dress and was being held hand by hand by the old woman... Threatened/Forced Love?

After stopping, he was free to move around. Just as he was about to run, he stepped on the face of the old woman lying in the grave. "...Ha, haha, Grandma, why are you lying here? The ground is so cold (:[____]……"

Then I saw the five people in front of me start digging again.

Ruan Zhijuan thought to himself, "We can't just stand here like this, it's kind of scary." He asked, "Grandma, what are they digging for?"

"Dig us up!" The old woman's face had a different smile than it had that afternoon, but the smile still looked somewhat unnatural.

She chuckled sinisterly and added, "Our corpses."