noveltune Chapter 65 Cultivators? They're not even as good as the security guards in my shop.
Chapter 65 Cultivators? They're not even as good as the security guards in my shop.
The large, orange cat pawed at the leaves on the table, tilted its head, and looked at Chu Jiang innocently with its big eyes.
"Meow?"
Her voice was soft and sweet, with a hint of ingratiation.
The mountain spirits and monsters queuing around them watched the fat cat cutting in line, but dared not utter a word of anger.
After all, this cat was just knocked out by that guy with a cup of milk tea, but now it's running around alive and kicking, so their relationship is obviously not ordinary.
Chu Jiang didn't even lift his eyelids, and pointed to the end of the line.
"Go to the back of the line."
The orange cat paused for a moment, seemingly not expecting its attempt to be cute to fail.
It moved closer and rubbed its furry head against the corner of the table.
"Meow~"
Chu Jiang pulled a cat toy from under the bar and waved it in front of the orange cat.
The orange cat's eyes were instantly drawn to the toy, and it uncontrollably started shaking its head in sync with the toy.
Chu Jiang flicked his wrist, and the cat toy drew an arc, landing precisely at the feet of the weasel spirit at the very back of the group.
The orange cat darted forward and pounced on the cat toy, then realized what was happening and looked around blankly.
How did I end up at the back of the line?
The weasel spirit trembled with fright, clutching its tail and daring not to move.
Chu Jiang withdrew his gaze and waved to the next monster who was getting a certificate.
"Next."
Rules are rules.
Just then, a blinding sword light descended from the sky and hovered above the milk tea shop.
Above the sword light, a middle-aged man dressed in a white Taoist robe, with an air of otherworldly elegance, stood with his hands behind his back. The flying sword beneath his feet hummed, and the aura he exuded made the temperature of the entire street drop a few degrees.
The monsters queuing to get their certificates stirred up a bit, and many of those with less power were so frightened by the oppressive aura that they lay prostrate on the ground.
"He's a cultivator!"
"Qi Xiaoyun, the president of the Jiangdong Immortal Cultivation Association! He's actually emerged from seclusion!"
Qi Hong, who was terrified by Chu Jiang yesterday, now followed behind Qi Xiaoyun, pointing at the milk tea shop with a face full of resentment.
"President, it's him! This is the sorcerer who has illegally seized spiritual energy nodes and is using sorcery to deceive the public!"
Qi Xiaoyun's eyes were cold as he looked down at the small milk tea shop below, his voice booming like a bell.
"Who is it below, daring to steal the spiritual energy of heaven and earth and disrupt the order of the mortal realm?"
"Quickly hand over control of the source of spiritual energy and return to the mountain gate with me for trial, or perhaps I may spare your corpse!"
His voice was filled with an extremely strong sense of oppression, as if he were the master of this world.
Lin Fan peeked out from behind the bar, his face pale.
"Boss Chu, this looks like the real thing, it can fly!"
Chu Jiang acted as if he hadn't heard, calmly refilling his cup with the holy water of merit, and then said something to the air.
"V, there's a car illegally parked at the entrance, and it's speeding. Take photos and get a ticket."
"Understood, boss."
V's figure flashed past in the shadows.
Qi Xiaoyun, who was in mid-air, frowned when he saw that the people below dared to ignore him.
"If you won't listen to reason, you'll have to suffer the consequences!"
The flying sword beneath his feet shone brightly, and an even more terrifying pressure descended, causing the glass windows of the milk tea shop to buzz.
"Today, I will act on behalf of Heaven!"
The voice just fell.
"Sizzle—"
A thick jet of water, as thick as a fire hose, shot up from the roof of the milk tea shop without warning.
The water jet hit Qi Xiaoyun, who was suspended in mid-air, with perfect accuracy.
Qi Xiaoyun's protective aura was like a thin sheet of paper, instantly pierced by the high-pressure water flow.
He only had time to let out a scream before he fell from mid-air with a "thud," like a fly that had been swatted down.
Finally, with a "plop," it fell face-first into a puddle of water in front of the milk tea shop, splashing up a cloud of mud.
The entire room fell silent.
Everyone stared in disbelief at the scene.
The president of the Immortal Cultivation Association, who was just moments ago so dignified and awe-inspiring, was just... sprayed down by a water gun?
The disciples of the Immortal Cultivation Association who were following behind were stunned for a long time before they reacted.
"President!"
"You audacious fiend! How dare you launch a sneak attack!"
They all drew their longswords, their eyes red, and were about to rush towards the milk tea shop.
Chu Jiang put down his water glass, looked at the old locust tree by the door that was dutifully acting as a sunshade, and lazily gave it a command.
"Old Huai, time to get to work."
"Take care of these troublemakers, so they don't interfere with my business."
On the trunk of the old locust tree, a human face displayed a fawning smile.
"Alright, boss, just you wait and see!"
Its branches trembled, and a dozen vines, like flexible tentacles, silently emerged from the ground.
Before the few cultivators at the forefront could react, they felt a sudden pressure on their feet.
The next second, they were tightly bound together by vines like rice dumplings and hung upside down.
"Let me go! You mere tree spirit, how dare you be so insolent!"
"My true energy! Why can't it circulate?"
These vines were imbued with a faint trace of the power of order, which directly sealed off their meridians.
The old locust tree vines skillfully hung the cultivators one by one on the streetlights of the pedestrian street, like sausages being dried.
After doing all this, the old locust tree clapped its hands with two vines, as if dusting off some dirt.
"Boss, all done."
Chu Jiang then slowly walked out from behind the bar.
He didn't even glance at Qi Xiaoyun, who was still convulsing on the ground, and walked straight to the cultivators who were hanging upside down from the streetlights.
He pulled a stack of freshly printed flyers from his pocket.
"Come on, open your mouth."
Chu Jiang pried open the mouth of a young disciple and stuffed a flyer inside.
"Waaah..." The disciple struggled desperately, unable to speak.
"Don't rush, everyone will get some."
Chu Jiang patiently stuffed a copy of the "Three Paths Crossing" APP download and usage guide into the mouth of each of the suspended cultivators.
After doing all this, he clapped his hands.
"Want to get down?"
He looked at the group of people and gave them a kind smile.
"Go back and scan the QR code to download the app. Your initial 'virtue credit score' is on it. Because of your violent resistance to the law, it should all be negative now."
"The credit score will be available as soon as it's improved."
"By the way, the app has a task system. For example, you can earn points by helping a sanitation worker sweep a street or helping an elderly lady cross the road."
"May you regain your freedom soon."
After saying that, Chu Jiang turned around and was about to go back to the shop.
Hanging in the middle, Qi Hong struggled to spit out the flyer from his mouth and roared.
"You can't treat us like this! We're from the Immortal Cultivation Association! We represent the order of the mortal realm!"
Chu Jiang paused, turned around and glanced at him.
"Now, I am the order."
He pointed to the signboard of his milk tea shop.
"See this? The underworld's office in the mortal realm."
"Strictly speaking, you unemployed cultivators without official positions are all considered unemployed."
"Say one more word, and believe me, I'll send you to the eighteenth level of hell for three months of pre-job training!"
Qi Hong immediately shut his mouth, his face turning bright red.
The monsters and humans along the street, looking at the string of "immortal cultivator wind chimes" hanging on the street lamps and then at the nonchalant milk tea shop owner, felt their worldview being reshaped.
So even gods are afraid of water guns?
So even gods have to download an app to boost their credit score if they commit a crime?
Just as Chu Jiang was about to return to his shop to continue his document processing business.
V's voice came through the tiny earpiece in his ear clearly.
"Boss."
"The unknown data stream that's tracking our network address has just shown new developments."
Chu Jiang raised an eyebrow.
"explain."
For the first time, a subtle, almost imperceptible fluctuation appeared in V's tone.
"They gave up tracking us."
"Instead, they began to use the underlying protocols of the mortal network to send an encrypted message to all registered cultivators, as well as newly awakened ones."
Chu Jiang stopped in his tracks.
"What is the content of the information?"
It's being cracked.
V paused for a moment.
"Initial analysis suggests it resembles... a bounty poster."
"The target of the bounty is your head."